Every single day I carry love with me. I have a ring that I wear on my right hand (the finger alternates) that says "love", the frienship bracelet that Abbie, Ellie, and I have is a charm bracelt and the first charm Abie bought me for it was one that says "love" as well. I also retrace a heart on the inside of my left wrist each day that I am feeling a bit down and need a quick reminder of love in my life.
While walking home for lunch after another amazing class, on Valentine's Day, of course, I had a bit of a hop in my step. It was another gorgeous day, the skies were the most unreal shade of blue. The few days prior, I had been feeling a bit homesick, just missing the comfortability of the people back home, wishing they could see everything I'm seeing, because words just can never do it justice. Anyway, despite that being a glorious day, I was still wishing I could just pick up the phone and call my best friend, or pull my brother my the wrist around this wonderful city. As I passed a little corner store (that sells 2 euro bottles of wine, by the way), I noticed that on the ground someone had spray-painted the word 'Love' in gold and silver paint. It was so brilliant. I felt like I was literally walking on a road paved with love. I felt like someone had done this just for my viewing (how selfish of me). I cannot describe the feeling of happiness that I felt in that moment.
Let me take a quick moment to talk about my classes- I did not intend on enjoying them as much as I do. I was thinking that class and schoolwork were the last of my priorities while here in Spain- mostly because I am already graduated, I only need a C or higher to pass the course with a pass/fail type of grade, and there are so many other things I would rather do than school work, any day. But, the thing is, I accidentally am in love with my classes- I can't stop.
The loveliest man rode by me on a bicycle this afternoon after sangria with some friends. He was wearing the staple of European fashion: a scarf, which was perfectly draped around his neck. It bellowed slightly in the wind from the bike. He wore a buttoned up pea coat and had a bag of fresh produce in his front basket. His smile was subtle and probably had a great story to tell. He seemed like the type of man who would have a separate room in his probably small house just for old books. I might venture to guess that he owned many first editions and yellowed pages of Peter Pan and some of Jane Austen's books. I bet he enjoys telling stories and reading excerpts from these books to his grandchildren. They probably jump right up on his plump lap eager for grandpa's grand tales.
Mopeds and the little motos do not have to follow the regular rules of the road. They can weave in and out of lanes. It seems very dangerous, the way they dodge cars, stop very (too) close to pedestrian crosswalks. I never want to drive on myself I don't think, but I'd love to go for a ride. Note to self: make this happen.
- I am in complete control of my daily happenings. I control when I wake up, where I go, who I get coffee/beer/sangria with. For the first time in my life, I feel as though I am the only one who is the boss, I am the one with the final say. This, although a very stupid realization, is very much a new one to me. I was always in need of the reassurance of others, the permission of someone else.
- My intentions for coming to Spain seem to be very obvious to myself, but very out of focus to a lot of the other students here. I feel as though many students have taken this opportunity as a 3 month long vacation. I sense a very different appreciation for the sights I am seeing and the people I am interacting with.
-My love for the world's oddities and history is very apparent. While seeing Roman ruins for the first time, and walking hallways that Gladiators once treaded themselves, I was literally drawn to tears. I sobbed and my makeup was smeared thinking about how incredibly lucky I was to be touching my feet to those stones, my hands to those walls.
- My intuition is much, much stronger than I ever gave it credit for being. I used to mistrust my gut, or ignore it even. Now any time I have a very distinct or strong feeling for anything (ice cream to eat, direction to walk), I absolutely trust that feeling without a doubt. Any time I feel torn between decisions, I think back to what I initially thought was the right choice, and that is the decision I make. Never once has this feeling lead me to a place or to people I disagreed with or that I did not want to see or meet anyway. I am becoming increasingly good at recognizing the signs of my DEEP DOWN IN THERE feeling, and I am yet to go against it. Frankly, I am afraid to at this point.
I love this city. These words make me frustrated because they don't even scratch the surface of the brilliance of Sevilla. I am never leaving.
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