La chica con una historia: Love Confession

Today I started the downgrade that is my goodbye to Sevilla. The goodbye to my home. To my best friends. I dipped out of a class that I despise an hour early so I could hang out with a friend I haven’t given much attention to in a while. I found my favorite bridge and I sat. I closed my eyes and I heard my friend breathing. I could hear her inhale, and I could feel the relief of her exhale. Birds squawked overhead. The sun kept us warm; the rain had stopped by then. There was a chill in the breeze, one that has been hesitating to leave Sevilla, holding on to each day as though it might be its last. “It will be your last day soon,” I say to the cold wind.

I reached out and grazed my friend’s arm gently.

“Friend,” I said, “I’ve missed you.”

Then just as a light tear poked out from under my lashes, I felt my friend become emotional as well. She had missed me too.

"I know you’ve been busy," she whispered gently, "I still love you. I still welcome you and hope to see you each day."

Her tears misted my arms as the wind flowed through the fountain streams. We cried together today, my friend and I. both knowing that soon we would have to part, that soon we wouldn’t be able to see each other whenever we wanted.

"I hope you know that I’m not leaving because of you. I have to go."

She knew, I could tell she understood by the warm way she embraced me.

A boat with a laughing family rowed under the bridge we sat on. Two lovers sat close by kissing. A horse’s hooves clank, clank, clanked in a very sing-songy way. Together we bobbed our heads to the music.

I haven’t written about my friend in this way yet, because I never truly knew how to put to words the deep connection we have.

It honestly was love at first sight, something that I have always been skeptical of. She came into my life at the most perfect moment- when I needed a friend the most. And it seemed as though she had been waiting for me all along. Like we were destined to be friends and when we bumped into each other for the first time, it just felt right.

I don’t visit her as often as I should. I pass her on the streets most days, and sometimes I’m too ashamed to make eye contact. I’m worried she’ll be mad that it’s been so long, that I haven't made the time for her. But every time I do drop by, her smile is as big as ever, and her hand just as welcoming as the very first day we met.

I have fallen in love with my friend in a way that one cares for a pet or a childhood friend. I would say she’s my soulmate, but I know Abbie wouldn’t like that. So I’ll say she’s my life partner. She and I will always be connected in a way that words will tarnish it. In a way that only very lucky people in the world can understand, because I have found that not everyone has the ability to grow deep connections with others. Some people are very guarded, they don’t let others in. Others let too many people in and the bond for each can only be stretched so far. I think my friend and I have done it just right.

I hope the feeling is mutual. Sometimes I doubt it, sometimes I worry. I see others coming and going, passing us while we talk and catch up. She always gives a friendly smile, a nod of acknowledgment to passersby. I get jealous.

"STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY FRIEND AWAY FROM ME!", I want to scream. But I know each time that I can’t be selfish. She is everyone’s friend. She gives out the same kindess to others as she did to me. She is that amazing. She has that much love to give.

I admire my friend in so many ways. She is gorgeous. Her body is strong, but delicate. The intricate lines of her face and jaw are a type of exotic beauty I've never seen before. She is tall and gentle when she walks- when she glides, is more like it. Her voice is sweet, but she has an opinion and usually isn't afraid to share it with me.

Oh, the talks we've had together!

She makes me laugh that hearty kind of laugh that makes my stomach feel tight and my face hurt.

Everything about her is unlike anyone I've met before. I will miss her so much when I leave Sevilla.

Although I get jealous of other people who claim her as a friend too, I know I shouldn't. But I feel like no one can ever grasp what we have together. No one can understand it. But then again, I wish everyone could meet her. I wish everyone could see how great she is and feel the love she has to give.

I hope my family can meet her one day. My mom would love her, would insist on having her over for dinner and we girls would talk for hours- I just know it. She would fit right in with my group of friends. Abbie and Ellie and her could discuss books and share movie quotes for days. She would eat nachos and cry while watching Sex and the City with us. I just know it.

I think I'm going to try to meet up with her at least once a week from now on. Hopefully I can manage more than that. She lives right along my walk to school everyday. Maybe I'll spend some mornings with her too. I would love to see the people she hangs out with at different times of the day.

I could talk on and on about her and how much I admire her strength and her wisdom. I wish I could take her back home with me so we could learn more about each other and so I wouldn't have to miss her.

God, I'm going to miss her.

Pics of my friend that I've been gushing about:

Photo Credit: Tanner Beck- Photographer Extraordinaire.

Girl, Look at that body. But really. How gorgeous is she??